oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
