I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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