Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize