the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
