my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
