this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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