The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize