he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
