I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
