turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize