I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
they're like a gay fantastic four
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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