I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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