we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
