I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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