those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Randomize
