Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(315): View more from New York

my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple

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(408): View more from California

i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.

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(214): View more from Texas

would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable

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(334): View more from Alabama

how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer

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