so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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