Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
