who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
