Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I deserve to be covered in dicks
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Randomize