My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
