you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
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