were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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