I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize