Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
