i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
