drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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