His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
