He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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