I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Randomize
