no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The feeling are messing with the penis
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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