Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Randomize
