I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize