You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
