so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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