this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
