found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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