North Korea, Best Korea!
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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