he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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