okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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