i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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