i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
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