Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
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