just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
