Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
