What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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