he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
