either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
