i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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