this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize