Can Purell be used as lube?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
