idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
