I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
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