This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
