When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
