I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize