you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
