so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Four minutes until I can fart!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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