I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize