pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
