Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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