Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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