he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize