Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
