I'm pants shitting drunk right now
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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