I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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