have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
