I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
