smell my finger.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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