A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
